Part 2: How to Ask for What You Want (Without Apologies)
Let’s Be Honest…
We’ve all been there—hoping our partner will magically read our minds and know exactly what we want. Spoiler alert: they can’t. (If they could, we’d probably have fewer awkward moments and a lot more fun under the sheets!)
Here’s the truth: asking for what you want is sexy. It’s confident, it’s playful, and—bonus—it actually helps your partner give you more pleasure. Everyone wins.
Myths & Mischief Busted
Before we dive into the juicy details, let’s get rid of the nonsense:
-
Myth: Asking kills the mood.
Truth: The mood is very much alive when you know exactly what to do. Direct = delicious. -
Myth: If I have to ask, it means my partner doesn’t care.
Truth: Nope. Everyone’s body is different. Your partner wants to please you—they just need a little GPS. -
Myth: It’s selfish to say what I like.
Truth: Being clear about your pleasure isn’t selfish—it’s generous. (And let’s be real: confidence is hot.)
Flirty Ways to Ask for What You Want
Alright, enough theory—let’s get playful. Here are some cheeky, practical ways to speak up without feeling like you’re giving a PowerPoint presentation in bed:
- The Compliment Sandwich (sexy edition):
- Start with: “I love when you…”
- Add: “…and it would drive me wild if you also…”
- Finish with: “…mmm, yes, just like that.”
- The Whisper Game: Instead of a serious convo, lean in and whisper something you want. Whispering makes everything hotter, no matter what you’re asking for.
- Blame It on Curiosity: Try: “I’ve been curious about ___, want to experiment together?” It sounds playful instead of demanding.
- Make It a Dare: “I dare you to try ___ tonight.” Suddenly, asking becomes a fun game.
Quick Phrases You Can Totally Steal
Not sure what to say? Borrow these:
- “More of that, please.” (Short, sweet, works every time.)
- “Can we try it slower/faster/softer/harder?”
- “I’ve been thinking about ___, want to give it a shot?”
- “That thing you did last time? Don’t stop.”
Confidence Looks Hot on Everyone
- For women: Speaking up is a power move—it takes you from “going along” to fully owning your pleasure.
- For men: Communicating what you want removes the pressure to be a mind reader and makes everything more fun.
- For couples: Conversations about sex don’t have to be awkward—they can be giggly, flirty, and incredibly bonding.
This Week’s Sexy Challenge
- Share one playful request with your partner (keep it light, like “kiss me here more” or “let’s try it in the shower”).
- Invite them to share something they’d like, too.
- Bonus: Turn it into a game—“Your turn, my turn.”
Final Takeaway
Asking for what you want doesn’t have to feel awkward, demanding, or serious. Done with a wink and a smile, it’s actually one of the sexiest things you can bring to the bedroom.
✨ Remember: Confidence is contagious. When you speak up, you give your partner permission to do the same—and that’s where the magic really happens.
Next up in Part 3: Exploring Solo Pleasure (Your Body, Your Rules), we’ll dive into the ultimate confidence-booster: getting to know your own body.
